Equality Matters

There has been a lot of talk in the past few months about the 'gay marriage' issue (or equal marriage, as it should be known), and especially in the past week after that wonderfully progressive institution, the Church of England, decided to stick it's withered old oar into the debate.

I am one of the lucky ones, I tell myself. I have a civil partnership, which wasn't possible when me and my now-wife first started seeing each other as teenagers. We have legal rights akin to heterosexual married couples; there are no differences in terms of tax or inheritance that I know of, and we have the right to adopt and raise children with the protection of the state. There are people in American states who have no legal rights because they can't marry their partners and, worst of all, many people around the world who are persecuted and even killed for who they are and who they love.

All of the above are relevant points and, like I say, I feel lucky to be in the situation that I am in; but just because we have come this far doesn't mean there isn't more to be done. 'Separate but equal' still rings true in this country at the end of the day, and while some may say that words and semantics don't matter, I'd argue that they do.

To settle at this point would be akin to complacency. Do we accept that yes, we can have legal partnerships, but to call it a marriage is technically incorrect? Do we sit down and be thankful for the fact that we have civil partnerships or do we stretch that little bit further and ask for what we deserve - complete equality in the eyes of the law? Calling gay marriages 'civil partnerships' tells the world that we are still separate from the heteronormative values accepted by wider society. At best, it says that Britain are willing to be more progressive; at worst, it highlights that we are not like married couples and effectively appeases the aims of the 'militant gay agenda' as I have sometimes heard it called.

As far as the various religious organisations are concerned, I would also argue that marriage is nothing to do with religion. Marriage is a civil right - straight couples who hold any beliefs, religious or atheist, can get married at a registry office. People who have been divorced, who have been excommunicated, who are of every race on this planet can get married at a registry office. The only difference between me and these people is my sexual orientation. There is no valid argument against gay people being married - it is not illegal or immoral, does not lead to bestiality, paedophilia or incest. There is no proof to support the terrified voices shouting that equal marriage undermines the traditional family or heterosexual marriages; the only thing it undermines is the bigoted, outdated religious establishment that still has an inexplicable sway on Britain's politicians.

I see arguments against equal marriage and feel like an outsider looking in. I haven't done anything wrong; I work hard to support me and my wife and pay my taxes just like straight couples do. I give what is expected to this country and support it when I can, as does my wife. I am marginalised for being who I am and I cannot stand it - all I can think when I see this sort of prejudice on my TV before I leave for work is "what have I done to make you feel this way?". I simply cannot understand it, and I never will.

At a time where Britain lies in the murky mires of extreme Conservatism, I humbly ask our politicians not to think of equal marriage as a blight on society, but as a way of helping people like me feeling more like a part of things, like we matter. I ask that our Prime Minister fuel progress by allowing me the privilege of a marriage certificate - and for those MPs who would vote against it, just remember that this is not about policy; this is about tolerance, progression and, above all, people.

I don't want to destroy anyone else's marriage; I'd just, for once, like my relationship to be like everybody else's, and I don't think that's too much to ask.